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    I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

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    chi_solas
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    I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by chi_solas on Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:39 pm

    Last week I had lunch with a person
    who had a disability it was my first
    meeting with this person. Some things
    she said during the course of our
    conversation were; my head is not working
    today, can you open this my hands are not
    working. I asked her why are saying stuff
    like my head is not working today. Are you
    giving your brain the day off. She responded
    I always talk positive..

    We do say the darnest things to ourselves if
    we just listen/replay back our internal chatter
    of negative messages. Do other folks have any
    thoughts on this subject? Basketball




    Self-Limitation:
    If you say “I can’t handle this”, you more likely can’t. This is because your subconscious mind tends to believe the thoughts it hears. You can limit your abilities by telling yourself you “can’t”, that “this is too hard” or that you “shouldn’t even try”.

    Limited Thinking:
    When you tell yourself you can’t handle something (or some other self-limiting thought), you tend to stop looking for solutions. For example, notice the difference between telling yourself you can’t handle something and asking yourself how you will handle something. Doesn’t the second thought feel more hopeful and produce more creativity? Negative self talk tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy!

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    Thaak
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Thaak on Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:17 pm

    I think the word Should, "should" be removed from the dictionary. Seriously.

    Every time you say, "I should have..." or "I shouldn't have..." you are allowing for regret, attachment to the outcome, and laziness or slothfulness. If you say, "I should be doing..." then that means you aren't doing, and you aren't really planning on doing. If you say, "I shouldn't, but..." that means you have no intention of stopping, but regret doing it on some level.

    If you are going to satiate a desire, live in the moment, enjoy it, live it. Then don't dwell on it.

    If you aren't going to do something, accept it. You aren't going to work out to lose weight. That's what you've chosen to do. Deal with the consequences of your non-action. You aren't a weight you want to be, and you aren't in the shape you want to be.

    If we do away with the word should. Then we are truly a collection of experiences, actions taken, actions not taken, and desires both satiated and unfulfilled.

    If we can be happy with this, then we "shouldn't" have a worry in the world.
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    Pandora
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Pandora on Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:56 pm

    There is an entire branch of therapy which deals with this topic: cognitive behavioural therapy. Or you can look at neuro-lingustic programming, which seems to be a pop version.

    The way we talk to ourselves completely governs our behaviour. When I was very ill back in the 90s, the way I eventually changed my life around was through Autogenic Training and the use of positive affirmations. I still go back to them when I need to.
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    Milarepa
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Milarepa on Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:58 pm

    This is why you're such a good asset here Bridget. I used to read what you were saying, on Reiki4All, and think what the heck is this crap! I know better now.

    I'm gonna read this topic for a lot of good advice, three good posts already from 3 other members. Thankyou.

    Wayne


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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Pandora on Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:34 am

    As it happens, I've just found this link:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8326171.stm
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    chi_solas
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by chi_solas on Wed Oct 28, 2009 3:14 am

    Pandora wrote:As it happens, I've just found this link:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8326171.stm

    Thanks Pandora this is such a beautiful experience that many
    folks can use for any dis-ease that they are diagnosed with.

    For me it was a beautiful cliff overlooking the Alantic
    Ocean. I saw the Ocean waves come on shore and then go
    back out into the ocean to travel back to my homeland
    were I could touch base with my deceased family and ask
    for guidance from their spirit. I use the picture of that
    landscape leading up to the cliff on my booklet that goes
    with, My Self-Healing Journey documentary. When I visited
    with the Oncologist to have biopsies. I was visually out on
    that cliff and without the use of medications he preformed
    the biopsy while I was in my own special place. Visualization
    are powerful.

    The place I visualized was at Cranes Estate Ipswich MA. We
    did some of our filming there.

    So positive thinking is great you also have to implement it.

    Saying, "I want to heal" is different than saying, "I am healing " sunny

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    Pandora
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Pandora on Wed Oct 28, 2009 6:38 am

    chi_solas wrote:

    So positive thinking is great you also have to implement it.

    Saying, "I want to heal" is different than saying, "I am healing " sunny

    This is one reason why my affirmation begins "I am healthy". Not "I want to heal", nor even "I am healing". Neither place you currently in the desired state: however, "I am healthy" does. For added emphasis, adding "I know" in front of an affirmation increases its impact.

    Affirmations have more impact if you're not saying them in front of the bathroom mirror. You have to be in a deep state of relaxation, so that you are working at the pre-conscious level.
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    Thaak
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Thaak on Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:32 am

    Pandora wrote:
    chi_solas wrote:

    So positive thinking is great you also have to implement it.

    Saying, "I want to heal" is different than saying, "I am healing " sunny

    This is one reason why my affirmation begins "I am healthy". Not "I want to heal", nor even "I am healing". Neither place you currently in the desired state: however, "I am healthy" does. For added emphasis, adding "I know" in front of an affirmation increases its impact.

    Affirmations have more impact if you're not saying them in front of the bathroom mirror. You have to be in a deep state of relaxation, so that you are working at the pre-conscious level.

    Additionally, while affirmations can be absolutely outstanding, if you aren’t backing them up with positive action or positive being, then they will have minimal affect.

    Now if you are doing the affirmations with deep meaning and from the heart, truly meaning them, then chances are the appropriate positive changes will just naturally happen in your lifestyle.

    But if you want to lose weight, and are unwilling to exercise and eat better, no amount of positive affirmations is going to make the weight magically disappear.
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by chi_solas on Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:35 am

    Pandora wrote:
    chi_solas wrote:

    So positive thinking is great you also have to implement it.

    Saying, "I want to heal" is different than saying, "I am healing " sunny

    This is one reason why my affirmation begins "I am healthy". Not "I want to heal", nor even "I am healing". Neither place you currently in the desired state: however, "I am healthy" does. For added emphasis, adding "I know" in front of an affirmation increases its impact.

    Affirmations have more impact if you're not saying them in front of the bathroom mirror. You have to be in a deep state of relaxation, so that you are working at the pre-conscious level.

    "I am healing" is in the future that was not a good example.
    affirmation should be in the present/moment. "I know I am healthy"
    is better. sunny


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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Bruce on Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:04 am

    Thaak wrote:Additionally, while affirmations can be absolutely outstanding, if you aren’t backing them up with positive action or positive being, then they will have minimal affect.

    Worse than minimal effect, according to Christel Nani's book Diary of a Medical Intuitive. She explains that if affirmations are wildly out of synch with one's actual state, then the body suffers because of the discrepancy.

    Bruce
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    Shakti ~ Rising
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Shakti ~ Rising on Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:08 am

    I've been looking around a few things on the internet today....not been so indulgent in my cyber fix for a while anywhoo......time has allowed me to shifty around on here and I've been looking up different things about how vibrations effect our health.........acchhhooo ( excuse me I just sneezed)......and I looked up Masaru Emoto whom some of you may be familiar with.....i came across an interesting article about his work, and one in which I totally agreed.....

    different pictures have been posted of water crystals, to which certain words were atrributed/ applied....... the outcome of some of these negative words implied that that impact upon the water crystal was negative..... but infact as the man who wrote the article to which I agreed with pointed out.......it is NOT about 'THE' word or 'A' word, but about a feeling or concept that is ascotiated with that word, thus the person who is speaking a certain word also has a great deal of feeling and thought that follows that word....it is not the word itself that matters.....

    bare with me a mo while i just giggle heheheheheheh.....I'm a bit tipsy and there is a point in here somewhere..... my point IS...........affirmations have absolutely NO impact, if they are not from the heart..they end up becoming like my christian prayers of my childhood penance......empty and meaningless...

    sorry to waffle, I hope this made a wee bit of sense..... affraid

    so??? does the language we speak effect our behaviour.....ermm no not at all.... unless those words are said with heartfelt intent..... and very few people are real and genuine enough to always talk from the heart..
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by hialeah on Wed Oct 28, 2009 10:46 am

    Bruce wrote:Worse than minimal effect, according to Christel Nani's book Diary of a Medical Intuitive. She explains that if affirmations are wildly out of synch with one's actual state, then the body suffers because of the discrepancy.

    Bruce

    Did Nani explain what she meant by out of synch with one's actual state and why the body suffers because of the discrepancy? I'm think maybe denial or not having any hope but would like to know her take on it as I don't have the book.

    Thanks.


    Last edited by Milarepa on Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:13 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : fixing quotes)
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Thaak on Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:04 am

    hialeah wrote:
    Bruce wrote:Worse than minimal effect, according to Christel Nani's book Diary of a Medical Intuitive. She explains that if affirmations are wildly out of synch with one's actual state, then the body suffers because of the discrepancy.

    Bruce

    Did Nani explain what she meant by out of synch with one's actual state and why the body suffers because of the discrepancy? I'm think maybe denial or not having any hope but would like to know her take on it as I don't have the book.

    Thanks.

    Not sure if this is what Nani or Bruce meant, but I do know that 100% of all dis-ease is caused by the body being out of balance in some fashion or another.


    Last edited by Milarepa on Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:15 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : where's a moderator when you need one? lol :))

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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Bruce on Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:13 pm

    hialeah wrote:
    Bruce wrote:Worse than minimal effect, according to Christel Nani's book Diary of a Medical Intuitive. She explains that if affirmations are wildly out of synch with one's actual state, then the body suffers because of the discrepancy.

    Bruce

    Did Nani explain what she meant by out of synch with one's actual state and why the body suffers because of the discrepancy? I'm think maybe denial or not having any hope but would like to know her take on it as I don't have the book.

    Thanks.

    Okay, I found my copy of the book. She's indeed addressing denial and its energetic effects. From Nani's book: "Worst of all, this kind of 'positive' thinking -- the facade you present to the world -- prevents you from feeling your true feelings. When you don't feel your fear or anger, it doesn't just dissipate. It builds up inside. It lowers your vibration because you have to devote energy to keeping it buried. And the farther down you stuff those feelings, the more potential there is to resonate with illness."

    A few pages earlier in the book, she described a client who had "been affirming for years that he deserved a loving relationship." But (she says) his cells instead heard "his deep-down belief that he wasn't worthy of love." Then she "asked him to say out loud the words 'I am not lovable.' He did and was shocked to feel how strongly he could feel those words resonating throughout his body. I could see the energy of his statement run down and back up his chakra system like lightning."

    She recommends a three-step process of awareness of "unconscious beliefs that lower your vibration," then "claiming ownership" of one's own dysfunction, and then taking action to heal the "life-draining belief." So she seems to state that some affirmations are a form of denial, which could reinforce the effect of destructive beliefs, rather than bringing such beliefs to awareness and healing.

    Bruce
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by chi_solas on Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:28 pm

    Shakti ~ Rising wrote:I've been looking around a few things on the internet today....not been so indulgent in my cyber fix for a while anywhoo......time has allowed me to shifty around on here and I've been looking up different things about how vibrations effect our health.........acchhhooo ( excuse me I just sneezed)......and I looked up Masaru Emoto whom some of you may be familiar with.....i came across an interesting article about his work, and one in which I totally agreed.....

    different pictures have been posted of water crystals, to which certain words were atrributed/ applied....... the outcome of some of these negative words implied that that impact upon the water crystal was negative..... but infact as the man who wrote the article to which I agreed with pointed out.......it is NOT about 'THE' word or 'A' word, but about a feeling or concept that is ascotiated with that word, thus the person who is speaking a certain word also has a great deal of feeling and thought that follows that word....it is not the word itself that matters.....

    bare with me a mo while i just giggle heheheheheheh.....I'm a bit tipsy and there is a point in here somewhere..... my point IS...........affirmations have absolutely NO impact, if they are not from the heart..they end up becoming like my christian prayers of my childhood penance......empty and meaningless...

    sorry to waffle, I hope this made a wee bit of sense..... affraid

    so??? does the language we speak effect our behaviour.....ermm no not at all.... unless those words are said with heartfelt intent..... and very few people are real and genuine enough to always talk from the heart..

    Power of suggestion would come into play.
    we all have inner fears, beliefs that
    govern our lives. The power to accept
    depends on our mental capabilities for
    our body to feel the affect of the words
    being said. People do process language
    differently that's why we hear the question..
    Do you mean.....or...do I hear you saying confused

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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Thaak on Wed Oct 28, 2009 1:36 pm

    Bruce wrote:
    Okay, I found my copy of the book. She's indeed addressing denial and its energetic effects. From Nani's book: "Worst of all, this kind of 'positive' thinking -- the facade you present to the world -- prevents you from feeling your true feelings. When you don't feel your fear or anger, it doesn't just dissipate. It builds up inside. It lowers your vibration because you have to devote energy to keeping it buried. And the farther down you stuff those feelings, the more potential there is to resonate with illness."

    A few pages earlier in the book, she described a client who had "been affirming for years that he deserved a loving relationship." But (she says) his cells instead heard "his deep-down belief that he wasn't worthy of love." Then she "asked him to say out loud the words 'I am not lovable.' He did and was shocked to feel how strongly he could feel those words resonating throughout his body. I could see the energy of his statement run down and back up his chakra system like lightning."

    She recommends a three-step process of awareness of "unconscious beliefs that lower your vibration," then "claiming ownership" of one's own dysfunction, and then taking action to heal the "life-draining belief." So she seems to state that some affirmations are a form of denial, which could reinforce the effect of destructive beliefs, rather than bringing such beliefs to awareness and healing.

    Bruce

    That's actually a quite profound series of statements.

    I would also add, that by allowing yourself to "feel" your anger, sadness, depression, despair, is not necessarily mutually exclusive to positive affirmation. As Bruce explains from Nani's book, you don't want to hide or repress these feelings, or they can become more destructive later on.

    The key is, being able to have, and explore these feelings, without attaching yourself to them. And to allow yourself, indeed give yourself permission, to have these feelings, and then to not judge yourself for having them. If you can be aware of, fully engage in, and move past the moment of these feelings, without judgment, then you can start moving into actions and feelings that support the positive affirmations, rather than detracts from them.
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by hialeah on Wed Oct 28, 2009 8:33 pm

    Thaak wrote:
    Not sure if this is what Nani or Bruce meant, but I do know that 100% of all dis-ease is caused by the body being out of balance in some fashion or another.

    I believe this myself.

    Bruce wrote:
    Okay, I found my copy of the book. She's indeed addressing denial and its energetic effects. From Nani's book: "Worst of all, this kind of 'positive' thinking -- the facade you present to the world -- prevents you from feeling your true feelings. When you don't feel your fear or anger, it doesn't just dissipate. It builds up inside. It lowers your vibration because you have to devote energy to keeping it buried. And the farther down you stuff those feelings, the more potential there is to resonate with illness."

    I've gained a better understanding about why positive affirmations don't always work. Also, the book sounds like a good read.

    Thaak wrote:
    The key is, being able to have, and explore these feelings, without attaching yourself to them. And to allow yourself, indeed give yourself permission, to have these feelings, and then to not judge yourself for having them. If you can be aware of, fully engage in, and move past the moment of these feelings, without judgment, then you can start moving into actions and feelings that support the positive affirmations, rather than detracts from them.

    Along with greater clarity. I appreciate everyone's input.

    Thanks!
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    Shakti ~ Rising
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Shakti ~ Rising on Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:07 pm

    'There are two kinds of suffering, suffering that leads to more suffering and suffering that leads to the end of suffering' Smile
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Shakti ~ Rising on Wed Oct 28, 2009 9:14 pm

    chi_solas wrote:
    Shakti ~ Rising wrote:I've been looking around a few things on the internet today....not been so indulgent in my cyber fix for a while anywhoo......time has allowed me to shifty around on here and I've been looking up different things about how vibrations effect our health.........acchhhooo ( excuse me I just sneezed)......and I looked up Masaru Emoto whom some of you may be familiar with.....i came across an interesting article about his work, and one in which I totally agreed.....

    different pictures have been posted of water crystals, to which certain words were atrributed/ applied....... the outcome of some of these negative words implied that that impact upon the water crystal was negative..... but infact as the man who wrote the article to which I agreed with pointed out.......it is NOT about 'THE' word or 'A' word, but about a feeling or concept that is ascotiated with that word, thus the person who is speaking a certain word also has a great deal of feeling and thought that follows that word....it is not the word itself that matters.....

    bare with me a mo while i just giggle heheheheheheh.....I'm a bit tipsy and there is a point in here somewhere..... my point IS...........affirmations have absolutely NO impact, if they are not from the heart..they end up becoming like my christian prayers of my childhood penance......empty and meaningless...

    sorry to waffle, I hope this made a wee bit of sense..... affraid

    so??? does the language we speak effect our behaviour.....ermm no not at all.... unless those words are said with heartfelt intent..... and very few people are real and genuine enough to always talk from the heart..

    Power of suggestion would come into play.
    we all have inner fears, beliefs that
    govern our lives. The power to accept
    depends on our mental capabilities for
    our body to feel the affect of the words
    being said. People do process language
    differently that's why we hear the question..
    Do you mean.....or...do I hear you saying confused

    Aye people do process language differently..... I understand what you're saying.

    I find it fascinating when having a conversation with someone, because listening to people is a full body experience and not just the activity of ears and brain....

    so many times I've found myself listening to people but the words coming out of their mouths do not correspond with the energy emanating from their bodies..
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    thehungrycaterpillar
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by thehungrycaterpillar on Thu Oct 29, 2009 6:19 am

    Twitter brought me here, Nice work, Blue Bird!!

    Thought it was an AWESOME topic, I always wondered about using these 'positive affirmations' sentences!!!
    It never felt real because I was just repeating it like a copy cat. I think I would believe it probably if it came from my heart if I used my own choice of words.


    Rolling Eyes
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    Milarepa
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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by Milarepa on Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:10 am

    thehungrycaterpillar wrote:Twitter brought me here, Nice work, Blue Bird!!



    Aww Cool! If it brings back on of our favourite members, great!


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    Re: I can't do it .... I won't do it : can self talk help or harm? what's your thoughts on this

    Post by chi_solas on Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:48 am

    thehungrycaterpillar wrote:Twitter brought me here, Nice work, Blue Bird!!

    Thought it was an AWESOME topic, I always wondered about using these 'positive affirmations' sentences!!!
    It never felt real because I was just repeating it like a copy cat. I think I would believe it probably if it came from my heart if I used my own choice of words.


    Rolling Eyes

    repeating affirmations is not the same as
    believing what your saying. I know for me
    it was difficult to say I was healthy when
    the DR's had diagnosed me with a life
    threatening dis-ease. I took a prayer from
    Joseph Murphy's book and adapted it to fit
    me. At first I had to learn to become relaxed
    and at peace,poised,balanced and serene and calm.
    to move on through the rest of the Prayer and I
    did overcome removing the Dr's role out of my
    healing............................
    The one who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the one doing it.
    Author:Chinese Proverb............................




    I am relaxed and at peace, poised, balanced, serene, and calm. The healing intelligence of my subconscious mind that created my body is now transforming every cell, nerve, tissue, muscle, and bone of my being according to the perfect pattern of all organs lodged in my subconscious mind.

    Silently quietly all distorted thought patterns in my subconscious mind are removed and dissolved, and the vitality, wholeness,and beauty of the life principle are made manifesting every atom of my being.I am now open and receptive to the healing currents that is flowing through me like a river, Restoring me to perfect health, harmony, and peace.

    The infinite ocean of love and peace flowing through me
    Now washes all distortions and ugly images away, and so it is.


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