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The following article was posted by some years ago on the now-defunct, public Reiki forum: Reiki4all, by a regular contributor to that much-lamented forum's discussions
- forum-member "Telulah" (who some people here at the Reiki Learning Lounge will probably remember).
Definitely a "Must Read"
----------------------------------
An Open Letter on Permission
by
"Telulah"
Usui called Reiki a system of personal mastery in which physical healing was considered secondary and not emphasized, also there was significant time spent at level I working with the energy as well as in the meditations and practices before (if ever) moving to level II. For these reasons and the fact that the system comes out of the Japanese culture, permission was likely a non-issue and so was not addressed. We are in a time and culture quite different from Usui’s. Things are faster, there is less time spent growing into the system and it’s practices. I think that some of the understandings that come with patience and practice may be lagging behind as a result of this need to rush. If we are to truly attempt to live the principles I believe that we need to closely examine the motives that drive our practices.
It is my feeling that permission is essential to the practice of Reiki. When we practice we need to honor boundaries and abandon our concepts of what someone else may need. My RM is a masseuse and 'lays hands' on people daily for a living. She informs new clients that she is also a Reiki practitioner and obtains permission before working on them. If they decline or do not give permission she does not use Reiki.
For me this whole subject is a matter of respect and humility. Do I respect the rights, privacy, and wishes of another concerning themselves, or do I assert my idea of what they need or what I think may be necessary to alleviate my perception of their suffering. No is no, it doesn't matter if it is said softly or with a shout. My mother always said 'put yourself in their position and tell me how you would feel'. When I do that I understand that I would feel disrespected, violated, that being the case I have no option but to respect their wishes. Respect and humility help us honor boundaries and directly support a recipient in developing trust and feeling empowered to direct their own experiences within an integrated complementary and mainstream care plan for wellbeing, which hopefully includes Reiki
When someone says they don't want us to send or they refuse hands on work then we need to respect their decision. We also need to give them the opportunity to consciously make that decision for themselves. We have to learn to respect other peoples boundaries and have healthy ones ourselves. We can't say 'well, they said no but I can see in their eyes that they are in pain and they want this' or 'I will ask their higher self'. For me, asking the 'higher self' is imposing my will on another without accepting any responsibility for my actions. Are we multiple personalities? Are any of us so adept that we can say with absolute certainty that the answer we receive comes not from our own wishes but from another’s higher self? (I wonder, does anyone ever get told 'No' by another’s higher self.) Is one part of us so much better than the other that it can over ride a conscious decision or make a decision for us as if we were a small child at it our parent? And If indeed we do have all these different 'selves' isn't one of the goals of Reiki to become an integrated, whole entity? Why, if we are working to take back our power through healing ourselves, would we want to give that away to anything? Others feel that they are merely a vehicle by which others access the energy. Again there is no responsibility here. These are excuses for imposing our needs and will on others. I come back again to the thought that it is shifting responsibility from ourselves to some other thing/one and if we are ever to heal we need to accept responsibility for ourselves on every level. The decision to accept or reject our offer needs to be a conscious one.
Karma accrues through action or lack of action. All the choices you make accumulate karma. I don't see karma as a negative, or a positive, but rather a neutral. It doesn't punish or reward. Like nature, it just is. When we send without permission we are saying we know what is best and whether we realize it or not we have some measure of responsibility for our action. We accrue karma. Yes, not sending accrues karma as well but I prefer to accrue it on the side of not interfering in another's life without their consent.
Some also say that if you are a compassionate person then you are compelled to send to relieve suffering. Sometimes compassion is knowing when to stand back and let things unfold.
There are those that hold the view that Reiki is ‘intelligent’ and ‘can do no harm’ therefore it is always acceptable to send energy. Harm however is not usually defined. Reiki is about healing on all levels and the energy can initiate a clearing process, physical, emotional, and/or spiritual, which can sometimes be dramatic. Healing is a process and each person’s process won’t necessarily conform to our expectations. Adding words like ‘for the highest good’ won’t prevent this from happening. It may in fact facilitate a clearing response. Subjecting someone to the possibility of such a clearing without their knowledge is, in my estimation, harmful and an abuse of our ability.
Working on someone else isn’t about us and what we think needs attention, it is about the recipient. There is an old saying "there are three kinds of business in the world, yours, mine and God's. Make sure you know which is which". When we give Reiki without permission, we are meddling in another person’s business, overstepping boundaries, and overriding their right to choose. Whether we are physically laying on hands or sending distantly we are invading their personal and energy space. We would never presume to enter someone’s home, or borrow their possessions without first having permission. Reiki is also about respect and that includes respecting the decisions and boundaries of others, without making judgements, even when we don’t agree with them. Doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals don’t go about dragging people into their offices and forcing treatment on them (as a matter of fact I think the law prohibits them from treating someone who refuses it, besides, it’s very bad manners).
Seriously, what is the problem with asking? Why do some of us have such a difficult time accepting ‘no’ for an answer? Why the need to do stealth Reiki? I think this has more to do with our needs and fears than with those of the person we are sending to. When most people say that someone 'needs' Reiki, they are really saying that what they are seeing makes them so uncomfortable that they need to ease their own personal discomfort.
Giving or receiving Reiki isn’t only about the boundaries of others; it is about our boundaries as well. We also need healthy boundaries in order to heal and integrate. This includes being able to say no if need be to someone who asks for or demands our time and services. We have every right and in some cases even the responsibility to refuse Reiki at any level.
I have heard people say that sometimes another person unconsciously draws the energy through them without their consent. Others don’t unconsciously draw Reiki energy through us without our consent, when this happens it is because we have, at some time, set the intent for it to happen. When I go dancing I am in a crowded room and physical contact with others is unavoidable just moving through the crowd. In a room filled with hundreds of people there have to be those who are in serious need of relief on any number of levels, but never has anyone, not even a dance partner, drawn Reiki through me.
Free will is the key to any responsible practice and to honor each person's free will is part of our job. We need to examine our motives closely, be mindful of why and how we use the energy, and be consciously responsible for our actions.
----------------------------------
.
.
.
- forum-member "Telulah" (who some people here at the Reiki Learning Lounge will probably remember).
Definitely a "Must Read"
----------------------------------
An Open Letter on Permission
by
"Telulah"
Usui called Reiki a system of personal mastery in which physical healing was considered secondary and not emphasized, also there was significant time spent at level I working with the energy as well as in the meditations and practices before (if ever) moving to level II. For these reasons and the fact that the system comes out of the Japanese culture, permission was likely a non-issue and so was not addressed. We are in a time and culture quite different from Usui’s. Things are faster, there is less time spent growing into the system and it’s practices. I think that some of the understandings that come with patience and practice may be lagging behind as a result of this need to rush. If we are to truly attempt to live the principles I believe that we need to closely examine the motives that drive our practices.
It is my feeling that permission is essential to the practice of Reiki. When we practice we need to honor boundaries and abandon our concepts of what someone else may need. My RM is a masseuse and 'lays hands' on people daily for a living. She informs new clients that she is also a Reiki practitioner and obtains permission before working on them. If they decline or do not give permission she does not use Reiki.
For me this whole subject is a matter of respect and humility. Do I respect the rights, privacy, and wishes of another concerning themselves, or do I assert my idea of what they need or what I think may be necessary to alleviate my perception of their suffering. No is no, it doesn't matter if it is said softly or with a shout. My mother always said 'put yourself in their position and tell me how you would feel'. When I do that I understand that I would feel disrespected, violated, that being the case I have no option but to respect their wishes. Respect and humility help us honor boundaries and directly support a recipient in developing trust and feeling empowered to direct their own experiences within an integrated complementary and mainstream care plan for wellbeing, which hopefully includes Reiki
When someone says they don't want us to send or they refuse hands on work then we need to respect their decision. We also need to give them the opportunity to consciously make that decision for themselves. We have to learn to respect other peoples boundaries and have healthy ones ourselves. We can't say 'well, they said no but I can see in their eyes that they are in pain and they want this' or 'I will ask their higher self'. For me, asking the 'higher self' is imposing my will on another without accepting any responsibility for my actions. Are we multiple personalities? Are any of us so adept that we can say with absolute certainty that the answer we receive comes not from our own wishes but from another’s higher self? (I wonder, does anyone ever get told 'No' by another’s higher self.) Is one part of us so much better than the other that it can over ride a conscious decision or make a decision for us as if we were a small child at it our parent? And If indeed we do have all these different 'selves' isn't one of the goals of Reiki to become an integrated, whole entity? Why, if we are working to take back our power through healing ourselves, would we want to give that away to anything? Others feel that they are merely a vehicle by which others access the energy. Again there is no responsibility here. These are excuses for imposing our needs and will on others. I come back again to the thought that it is shifting responsibility from ourselves to some other thing/one and if we are ever to heal we need to accept responsibility for ourselves on every level. The decision to accept or reject our offer needs to be a conscious one.
Karma accrues through action or lack of action. All the choices you make accumulate karma. I don't see karma as a negative, or a positive, but rather a neutral. It doesn't punish or reward. Like nature, it just is. When we send without permission we are saying we know what is best and whether we realize it or not we have some measure of responsibility for our action. We accrue karma. Yes, not sending accrues karma as well but I prefer to accrue it on the side of not interfering in another's life without their consent.
Some also say that if you are a compassionate person then you are compelled to send to relieve suffering. Sometimes compassion is knowing when to stand back and let things unfold.
There are those that hold the view that Reiki is ‘intelligent’ and ‘can do no harm’ therefore it is always acceptable to send energy. Harm however is not usually defined. Reiki is about healing on all levels and the energy can initiate a clearing process, physical, emotional, and/or spiritual, which can sometimes be dramatic. Healing is a process and each person’s process won’t necessarily conform to our expectations. Adding words like ‘for the highest good’ won’t prevent this from happening. It may in fact facilitate a clearing response. Subjecting someone to the possibility of such a clearing without their knowledge is, in my estimation, harmful and an abuse of our ability.
Working on someone else isn’t about us and what we think needs attention, it is about the recipient. There is an old saying "there are three kinds of business in the world, yours, mine and God's. Make sure you know which is which". When we give Reiki without permission, we are meddling in another person’s business, overstepping boundaries, and overriding their right to choose. Whether we are physically laying on hands or sending distantly we are invading their personal and energy space. We would never presume to enter someone’s home, or borrow their possessions without first having permission. Reiki is also about respect and that includes respecting the decisions and boundaries of others, without making judgements, even when we don’t agree with them. Doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals don’t go about dragging people into their offices and forcing treatment on them (as a matter of fact I think the law prohibits them from treating someone who refuses it, besides, it’s very bad manners).
Seriously, what is the problem with asking? Why do some of us have such a difficult time accepting ‘no’ for an answer? Why the need to do stealth Reiki? I think this has more to do with our needs and fears than with those of the person we are sending to. When most people say that someone 'needs' Reiki, they are really saying that what they are seeing makes them so uncomfortable that they need to ease their own personal discomfort.
Giving or receiving Reiki isn’t only about the boundaries of others; it is about our boundaries as well. We also need healthy boundaries in order to heal and integrate. This includes being able to say no if need be to someone who asks for or demands our time and services. We have every right and in some cases even the responsibility to refuse Reiki at any level.
I have heard people say that sometimes another person unconsciously draws the energy through them without their consent. Others don’t unconsciously draw Reiki energy through us without our consent, when this happens it is because we have, at some time, set the intent for it to happen. When I go dancing I am in a crowded room and physical contact with others is unavoidable just moving through the crowd. In a room filled with hundreds of people there have to be those who are in serious need of relief on any number of levels, but never has anyone, not even a dance partner, drawn Reiki through me.
Free will is the key to any responsible practice and to honor each person's free will is part of our job. We need to examine our motives closely, be mindful of why and how we use the energy, and be consciously responsible for our actions.
----------------------------------
.
.
.
