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I just recently went to the 2nd of two workshops with her. She has also been my Shamanic teacher, so going to these two workshops were just an extension of her other teachings.
Her teachings are changing. She moving beyond the art or act of actively dissolving or removing anything. Now its about just going within and recognizing your own divinity. She uses the terms infinite or the energy behind or that which informs the energy which creates.
Anyways, some may know, but I don't know if I've talked much to you all about this, as I really haven't been around much for several months now. But I've had this song literally crawling and clawing its way out of my throat. But for various reasons I've not expressed it.
With my creativity, I've had a strong desire to get kudos or positive feedback. This I expect is an incredibly human thing, and not something to necessarily judge yourself over. But judge myself I did. So I think I was purposely not expressing my creativity because I wasn't doing it for the right reason until I could get over my need for appreciation.
Then I thought to myself. Perhaps just being aware that this is in my head, and being aware of when the need for this appreciation rears its head, is enough for right now. I can then approach the instances I do express, with a hope for the appreciation, but without expectation of it. Be gracious if it does come, and just enjoy sharing.
So at this workshop, we were releasing our attachment to whatever was blocking us from living on the edge. In short, the edge is that line between what you see as yourself, and what you see as "other than yourself." As you widen your identity (becoming one with all that is) that edge expands as well. Living on the edge though, while constantly expanding, is definitely unstable ground.
For me, that was fear. Largely fear of success, but still fear.
So we were to dredge up all these feelings, be within that feeling, become that feeling, and then release it into the fire (this was during a fire ceremony). While we were given 20 minutes to meditate on what our blocks were, mine came to me within the first 30 seconds. The rest of the time, the words to a song came pouring out into my training journal.
I sang the song as my prayer of release into the fire. Now I'm not the best singer in the world, and so I was fairly insecure about singing this song in front of 21 other people during a very sacred moment during the fire ceremony. What if it wasn't good enough? What if it ruined the moment for everyone else?
But I was meant to sing this song. So as my prayer of release, I sang with all the passion within me, from my heart. I had a hard time starting, because I embodied that fear, and then had to face the insecurity. But I got it out.
When I actually record a version that does the fire ceremony justice, I'll put it up on Youtube and link it here.
I just keep feeling the need to share the words, and you all are a wonderful group of people to be able to do so.
Love and Light
Andy
Her teachings are changing. She moving beyond the art or act of actively dissolving or removing anything. Now its about just going within and recognizing your own divinity. She uses the terms infinite or the energy behind or that which informs the energy which creates.
Anyways, some may know, but I don't know if I've talked much to you all about this, as I really haven't been around much for several months now. But I've had this song literally crawling and clawing its way out of my throat. But for various reasons I've not expressed it.
With my creativity, I've had a strong desire to get kudos or positive feedback. This I expect is an incredibly human thing, and not something to necessarily judge yourself over. But judge myself I did. So I think I was purposely not expressing my creativity because I wasn't doing it for the right reason until I could get over my need for appreciation.
Then I thought to myself. Perhaps just being aware that this is in my head, and being aware of when the need for this appreciation rears its head, is enough for right now. I can then approach the instances I do express, with a hope for the appreciation, but without expectation of it. Be gracious if it does come, and just enjoy sharing.
So at this workshop, we were releasing our attachment to whatever was blocking us from living on the edge. In short, the edge is that line between what you see as yourself, and what you see as "other than yourself." As you widen your identity (becoming one with all that is) that edge expands as well. Living on the edge though, while constantly expanding, is definitely unstable ground.
For me, that was fear. Largely fear of success, but still fear.
So we were to dredge up all these feelings, be within that feeling, become that feeling, and then release it into the fire (this was during a fire ceremony). While we were given 20 minutes to meditate on what our blocks were, mine came to me within the first 30 seconds. The rest of the time, the words to a song came pouring out into my training journal.
I sang the song as my prayer of release into the fire. Now I'm not the best singer in the world, and so I was fairly insecure about singing this song in front of 21 other people during a very sacred moment during the fire ceremony. What if it wasn't good enough? What if it ruined the moment for everyone else?
But I was meant to sing this song. So as my prayer of release, I sang with all the passion within me, from my heart. I had a hard time starting, because I embodied that fear, and then had to face the insecurity. But I got it out.
I'm flying high on these wings of ashes
Soaring into the sky
I rise up from my carcas
Looking death in the eye
You'll see me sitting here in this chair
But can't find me anywhere
There's a truth to be told
When we're younger and not so old
I'm reborn with these wings of ashes
My heart's open to the night
I rise up from my carcas
Before death's in its eye
You'll see me sitting here in this chair
But can't find me anywhere
There's a truth to be told
When we're younger and not so old
I'm soaring through the sky on my wings of ashes
La di da di da, Whoa oh oh Darlin'
Why do I cry?
Why do I cry?
When I actually record a version that does the fire ceremony justice, I'll put it up on Youtube and link it here.
I just keep feeling the need to share the words, and you all are a wonderful group of people to be able to do so.
Love and Light
Andy
) and didn't "meet" you so far 
